xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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