your thong is hanging out like whoa
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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