Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
