did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
