there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
