I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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