Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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