I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
