Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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