whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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