Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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