You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
