what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize