Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.