So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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