in pain and im wearing pink underwear
i dont own pink underwear
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want