a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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