I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
