WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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