Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
