so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
