Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
