Who wears a wallet chain?!
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
