Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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