WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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