am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
