If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize