I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
