I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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