I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I think i got beer on your cat.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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