Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
