Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
