Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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