The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
