Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
