In the future we'll all be gay
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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