So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
