Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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