Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
