Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
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Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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