Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
