I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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