youre lurking in front of me
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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