is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
