how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
