I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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