I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
