I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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