Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
