some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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