I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
