He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
