Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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