I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
