Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
