One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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