Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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