her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
