He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I currently don't understand fingers.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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