Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
