My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
