my mouth tastes like poor choices
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
