You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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