i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Randomize
