Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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