If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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