this beer tastes like vomit already
So gin and wine won't be happening again
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
