Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
