It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
