haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
