my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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