UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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